Current mood:	sleepy
Current music:	CNN
Entry tags:	himym

TITLE: One Dark And Not At All Stormy Night
RATING: PG
SUMMARY: The electricity went out, and Lily is thisclose to missing the final of American Idol.
SPOILERS: None, whatsoever. Unless you count a small one from towards the end of S3.
DISCLAIMER: I own neither the show, American Idol, and I do not really believe Simon Cowell is an insufferable womanizer in real life. ;)



Kids, as you well know, it's never a good thing when one of the power grids in New York City goes out. People begin predicting doom on CNN, starting with the stock market and working its way down to never being able to see the Yankees play baseball again. Jon Stewart can't broadcast, and people get restless when that happens.

Of course, when you're stuck in New York, you're oblivious to the panic that's sweeping the rest of the country. It's just a bit of a nuisance.

~*~

Marshall switched the TV off and turned to Lily. “The power's out.”

“Now I'll never know what happens at the end of American Idol,” she said fretfully.

“You could read about it in the papers.”

“I don't want to read about it in the papers, I want to watch it and find out myself!” Lily said. “Tonight's the final and I'm going to miss it!” She picked up her cell phone and started dialing.

“Who are you calling?”

“Ted. Maybe I can crash at his apartment until they announce it!”

She went into another room, but Marshall could hear everything. The power was out at his place, too.

Same with Robin.

“Now how am I going to find out?” Lily asked, still pacing frantically.

“You need someone with connections,” Marshall said.

“Someone who can get in with the right people.”

“Using dark and nefarious means.”

“And possibly the black market.”

“Oh, yeah, someone who has connections with shady people.”

“Who could possibly do all of that?”

“Barney?” Marshall suggested with a shrug.

~*~

It took Barney a very long time to figure out what the shrill voice on the other end of the phone wanted. It was Lily, and apparently she'd lost her mind. Something about Simon Cowell and David Cook.

“I'm sort of busy right now,” he said, focusing on undressing a woman. For chrissake, everyone knew if you were stuck in the dark you might as well take advantage of that.

“Barney, I'm not joking. They film in Los Angeles. Los Angeles is not having a problem with the electricity.”

“What am I going to do about that?”

“I don't know, you have connections. Dark and nefarious connections, I bet. Can't you call Los Angeles or something?” There was a long pause, followed by a dramatic sigh. “Or at the very least help me find a battery operated radio?”

He sighed and buttoned Louise's shirt. He'd much rather continue what he'd started, but if he didn't help Lily he'd never hear the end of it. Plus, he might have to sleep with Louise again tomorrow night.

And she might not be as good looking with the electricity back on.

~*~

“I'm bored,” Robin told her dogs. Her aunt had dropped them off for the next few weeks so that she and her partner could go on vacation. The recently orphaned dogs looked back at her in mild interest, secretly hoping some of that cookie she was eating would crumble on down to the floor. “I'm not going to share. You want to know why? Chocolate is poisonous to all of you, that's why.”

When the dogs responded by looking at her sadly, she added, “I'm only doing this for your own good.”

There was a loud knocking at the door and Robin went to answer it. Well, first she backtracked to get her gun. And then she answered the door. There was no electricity in New York. Maybe someone had confused her apartment with an electronics store or something. You could never be too careful.

It was Ted. He looked at her gun with a nervous expression on his face. She put it away on a shelf and invited him in. “I thought maybe you were a looter or something.”

“If I was a looter, I probably wouldn't have knocked first.”

“Good point. What are you doing here?”

“I'm bored and there's no power,” he said.

“Me too. Want something to drink?” She picked up her flashlight from the table next to the door and went into the kitchen. She accidentally walked into the counter, which seemed to have given her a bruise, from the feel of it. “Ouch.”

“You all right in there?”

“Yeah.” She began pouring the wine into two glasses. “You hear anything about when the electricity is supposed to come back on?”

“Yeah. I saw it on the television, which isn't on because the electricity is out.”

Robin came back in and handed him a wine glass.

“You and Barney huh?” he blurted out.

“If you say that one more time I'm taking the wine away from you. Forever. I thought you were over that, anyway.”

“It's just mind boggling, is all. I mean, seriously. I've always wondered if he lives up to the hype.”

“Well, it wasn't one of the worst experiences I've had,” Robin said, wondering why she sounded so angry. She was just glad the lights were out, because she was pretty sure she was blushing.

“Good,” Ted said.

“Good,” she repeated.

“You're not supposed to say 'good', I am.”

She was saved having to respond by the phone ringing. “Hello?”

“Barney is about to get Simon Cowell on the phone,” Marshall said, sounding excited.

“How does Barney know Simon Cowell?” Robin asked. Ted was looking at her, eyebrows raised.

“I don't know. He won't say. He just does. Come on over. It's gonna be sweet.”

It wasn't difficult to convince Ted to follow her to Lily and Marshall's apartment. As far as he was concerned, it was either going to be massively awesome or massively sucky, and either way, he didn't want to miss the show.

~*~

Robin was pleasantly tipsy by the time she crawled out of the taxi they'd taken to Barney's apartment. She was just starting to feel warm but not quite yet dizzy. Ted crawled out behind her and placed a ten in the driver's hand, then sorted out the tip.

What a gentleman, she thought happily. She didn't even have to pay a dime. She offered to pay him back, but he was having none of it. And they argued about it, even after she'd rung the buzzer and had been invited upstairs.

Lily and Marshall were holding flashlights over a telephone and Barney literally had his hand on the receiver. “Simon Cowell is on the phone, guys!” Lily beamed at both of them.

“Hold on, just a moment,” Barney said, cradling the phone to his ear as he pulled out a calling card from his pocket. Marshall dutifully held his flashlight over the card. “This is going to take some doing.” He dialed and held up his hand for silence.

“There's no way Barney has connections to Simon Cowell,” Ted whispered to Robin.

“Sssh!” Lily hissed enthusiastically.

Barney gave a quick nod in their direction before speaking. “Barney Stinson koko gozaimasu. Simon Cowell imasu ka? Ah, hai. Wakarimashita. Ah, so desu ka? Mmm. Mmmm. Hai. Hai. Uh. Uh. Uh. Hai. Wakarimashita, arigatou gozaimasu. Ja ne*.” He hung up the phone and turned around. His friends were staring back at him, mouths gaping open. Honestly.

“Barney?” Ted asked, slightly apprehensively.

“Yes, Ted?”

“How did you learn Japanese? Or Chinese? Or Korean? Or any other Asian language, for that matter?”

“Yeah, isn't that hard?” Marshall asked.

“Well, awesome is part of my DNA code. True story. Anyway, he's getting into his limo now. He should call Lily in about... oh, ten minutes.”

They counted down the moments on Lily's cell phone. Percisely ten minutes later, the phone rang. She jumped up in excitement as Barney answered it. He pressed a button and put them on speaker phone-- the voice on the other end was deep but unmistakeably British. And unmistakeably Simon Cowell.

“Yeah?” he said, gruffly.

“We have a question to ask you,” Barney said quickly.

“Yeah.”

Lily beamed, her voice shaking. She looked to be beside herself. “Who won American Idol? We blacked out in New York City right before the final. I mean, literally, Ryan Seacrest had taken the stage, all ready to announce it and then we had a blackout.” She sighed forlornly into the phone.

“Reruns are on Saturday at 11, kid,” Cowell said. “Turn left up here. No, left—how many times? I'm visiting LouAnn tonight, not Marie. Aw, damn. Anyway, I wouldn't want to ruin it for you.”

“Please?” Ted said, rushing to Lily's defense. “My friend Barney will pay you a thousand, up front, if you tell us the result right now.”

Cowell laughed. “A thousand? I'm worth millions, my friend. Millions.”

“Hey, I don't have a million dollars,” Barney muttered to his friends.

“That big screen TV hidden in your wall says you're loaded,” Lily countered.

“I got it on sale.”

“5 grand, final offer. Shit. Caught in traffic.” Simon Cowell didn't sound pleased at all. Well, he sounded much like Simon Cowell. “Only joking, Stinson. The winner was-”

The telephone cut off just then, much to Lily's dismay. “No! No! Barney, call him back! Call him back!”

It came as a great relief to Barney that the power chose that moment to come back on.

“Hey!” Lily said, finding the hidden button that opened up the big screen TV. Everyone else shielded their eyes from the light.

The news was on: “And New York is finally back on after a massive power outtage. Up next: will the stock market take a massive hit in an already failing economy? All that at eleven, after we rerun tonight's American Idol.”

“I'll get the popcorn,” Robin said quickly. “You have popcorn, right?”

“Lame,” Barney said. “I've got beer, though.”

“Just as good,” Marshall said. He followed Robin into the kitchen. “Hey, he's got Dorritos!”

And they settled down to watch. David Cook ended up winning, and they were just grabbing their jackets to leave when Barney said, “High five for being legendary!”

This time, they had to agree.

~*~

*If I didn't screw up my Japanese terribly (which is entirely possible), the translation goes: “Barney Stinson here. Is Simon Cowell there? Yes. I understand. Oh, is that so? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I understand, thank you very much. Take care.”